2014 a blessing year

Assalammualaikum, 

Indeed, its been a year since I last write here. The year is 2014. A horse year in Lunar year, but still rabbit at heart. The fung shui expert says that this would be lucky year for rabbit. Haha, well, I'm a Muslim and I don't believe in such thing but Allah S.W.T. has his own way for me. 

This year, I, Abdul Hakeem Putra, a law degree holder (Hons.) from Faculyt of Law UiTM , proudly to say that I finally have a degree in my hand. But the saddest part is, I can't continue in LLB (Hons.) as I'm still not good enough for this programme they say (which I presume). Well, maybe it wasn't to be for me this year but I know that I'm good at something and I will find it and be good on it. I just want to repay my parents and their kindness towards me all this while. 

All in all, I want to engage as soon as possible with my beloved Irina, insyaALLAH if The Maker says that she is the one, that why not I tie the knot as quickly as possible. I'm still sad about LLB but I need to buckle up and start to find a proper job in-line with my degree qualification or I just go on with it and work in any industry that are willing to accept me. 

2013- the year, sorrow year. Yet to complete.

Assalammualaikum....

While I'm writing this, I've completed my 1st degree in law. InsyaAllah if everything goes well, I'll be graduating this coming November 2013. A lot has happen for the past 6month to this year. Apart from I have to wait till this November (insyaAllah) to graduate, a lot of pain and sorrow been happening this year for only 6month.

The shocking news of this year is the lost of my beloved uncle, Long Atan. This is come to a shocked to me as I heard he was admitted to the hospital for his asthmatic situation. This is a normal situation for him to be in and out from the hospital. But who have thought it was his last visit to the hospital and Allah has taken his soul forever. This is so sad for me as the whole family really felt for his lost even to my father who was his younger brother. I could not help it and cried too. After the 'mandi jenazah', his face was smiling and for that instance I knew that he was eager to go to the alam baqa' or barzah. May Allah bless his soul and may he will be put among the good people of Islam in the paradise. He was buried at the Mont Kiara Muslim Cemetary. Al-fatihah.

The second news that I heard is that, my grand aunty, Tok chik who was my Mak Tok(grandma)'s sister past away due to old illness. She was always there during our Hari Raya and she's a great cook and I love when she made the ontok-ontok and we deep it with sambal tumis ikan bilis or udang. I was so sad as I could not come to pay my last visit as I have classes to attend to.  May Allah bless her soul and she will belong in Jannah. Al-fatihah.

The third news, I lost, well we all lost one young member of family(father side). My dear brother cousin lost his only child due to road accident. I managed to come to pay my first and last visit to see her. I was so sad that I didn't have the chance to see her, Wafaa Firdaus. May Allah bless her soul and I know she is the one who belong in Jannah, surely. May Allah bless his family and be strong during this trying time. Al-fatihah.

After all the three sad stories, I also received news about my dear friend lost her only child. May Allah be with her during this trying time as they are indeed a very young couple. For this year only, I received 6 six death news and this is indeed a sorrow year for me. Al-fatihah.

On the 3/7/2013 by 5.15pm marked my last journey as a law student in UiTM. InsyaAllah, if God willing, I will enter my next professional law programme this September, insyaAllah.

I do hope everyone will pray for me for my success and also give your doa to my family members and others who has lost their loved one. Al-fatihah.

After 7 Month

Assalammualaikum and hai,

                   After resting for almost 7month, I'm in the mood again to write in this lovely blog. Why? Well, a lot of things happen during this 7month. From almost getting something and yet to be postponed and almost flunk two things and the tremendous support for me to go on, everything is worth telling too but however, not all of it will be written here as I'm very secretive and introvert (really, u r buying it?)
               
                    Firstly, one of my dreams in the tertiary level of education is to be graduated in time without any thing in the way, which mean I can achieved it without any problem and according to the study plan. However, not everything in life is what we hope for like we plan it out. A plan is just a plan as the Creator, will decide the way. Yes, we can choose what to be and not to be but once it's already been decided, what left for me is Tawakkal and Redha from Him. Disaster struck, yet I flunk another paper due to illness and this has cost me a lot. From the glory of passing all of my subject, I don't have the luxury of passing everything like I did in my foundation years. Allah S.W.T. gave me a lot of test and obstacles so that I'm ready to face the real deal, the real world. Hence, I've made up my mind that I will strive this time around in the so called my "final" semester, which in reality I have another semester to look forward too. Sometime in my 14 weeks of the this "final" semester, I tend to look things differently, a lot of question post inside my mind, what is the odd of me extending the semester, what is the consequences of me delaying my graduation day and so on.
Oh well, this question is just merely a question that does not need any clarification or justification as I already know the odds and consequences but yet I took the blow and moved on, move forward to perhaps a greater heights in life.

                     Being a student means that u r also on the edge of tight budget. Therefore, due to this constrain, I tend to minimize my involvement in money related-stuff (which obviously, I failed to do). Therefore, I look into many opportunities in life in the real world, to get extra income but I don't think I have any luck in the real world. Hence, I've tighter the budget and managed to make a little savings of my own just to be on the save side. Guys, really, money is everything even though money is not everything in life but the real world, needs money to survive, just to merely survive. I just pray to the Almighty to lend me His strength to me go through this trying times ahead of me.

                    Now, Ramadhan have arrived. I'll fasting at my home and will be celebrating the Aidilfitri with my family. This month of holiness has come at absolutely at the right time for me as I need the peace of mind during this month of ibadah. Too much pressure in studying can be something that worries me so much and being away from family can be very stressful as u need all the support needed and I've the support of my family and my love. She always there for me, through thick and thin, through all the odds for the girl that I thought wouldn't understand me in a way, she really does understands me like not others. This few days will mark the 3 years of love, care, and cherish of the relationship that was never to be expected to be like this all this time. :) I do love her and raring to go for a fresh start after the month of Ramadhan and really wanted to graduated as soon as possible to be in the working world to get some money to set up my own family later on.

                 Lastly, Happy Fasting and Salam Ramadhan to all. . . May this month will bring barakah to all of you. Assalammualaikum, maasalamah~

The end of journey....

Assalammualaikum and hai,

It's been awhile since the last I wrote something here to share my feelings and so many things. This time, my 8th Final in Uni life. It was so hard. I still have one paper left. But I wouldn't know whether I'm going to make it or not. The challenge is so hard. I almost lost it all this time around. To give a lot of excuses is not the way of successful person. Even Dato' Dr. Fadhilah Kamsah once said, " Stop giving excuses and start to deliver!".

But I just don't know how am I going to be successful. Yes, I admit that I always study last minute but throughout the journey towards the final, I still managed to look on the subject, still knows what on earth Im going to write. But this time around, it is the 2nd last semester before I enter the degree LLB (Hons) together with my friends. From the look of it, I don't have the confidence to actually grad together with them. Hence, it is just me, who eventually will be left behind.

It's already twelve years since the 1st day I entered high-school. It's been 6 years since I left high-school. Throughout this one whole 12 years, what I learnt in the Malaysian education system, EXAM-Oriented really kills the hopes of others. I don't care about people who have the believe that they can do well and excelled in their life later on but to think it closely, not all of them are like all of you. It's like there' two conflicting parties that separated by this nightmare of every students at the end of semester. Yes, this is the way they assess you, to judge you whether you are capable of handling things. BUT trust me, in the real world, no one would actually can do what all of us can do now, Memorize+Digest+Apply+Understand in one shot.



All I can say is that, life+examination is really something to be remember till the day I die. I won't forget this and
May Allah will give a good and fair result to me and others too.

Have You Ever Thought

Assalammualaikum and hai,

Have you ever thought to give one proud moment for your parents? Have you ever thought, to make them retire permanently from their current job and you, as their children, will take care everything, EVERYTHING. Tip to toe, tip-top, superb with almost everything even though it seems impossible to do it. I did, I started to give all that since I started my pre-school. I want my parents to be proud of me.

I know, in the current state, they are not so proud of me, in Malay they say, "Bolehlah". But if I ever wanted to do it, this semester is the field for me to do it. It's "do-or-die" situation for me. This semester can be consider my final year in BLS before insyaALLAH, entering LLB program. I have to do it  whether I like it or not. I've been trying and dying to get into this institution last time out. When I finally got the chance, I blew it up.

I just don't know what when wrong. I did just fine in Asasi and managed to enter BLS program. But when I finally here, suddenly, things goes wrong and things just not according to the plan for me. I tried to bounce back and managed to score in one subject that was a killer subject previously but yet I flunk again. Finally, semester 4 gave a wonderful, joyful and meaningful in BLS program as I managed to pass all subject once more. However, the joy was short as I flunk again in my short course.

At the moment, I've two pending subject and I decided to take the failure as a test from ALLAH S.W.T once more that He already have plan something for me. I just one to show my worth to the faculty and to others, that's all and most importantly to my PARENTS.

Arah Tuju

Assalammualaikum and hai,


Setiap insan dimuka Bumi Allah S.W.T ini ada tujuan mereka sendiri tanpa kita menyedari akan kepentingan kita dimuka Bumi Allah S.W.T ini, yakni sebagai khalifah. 

Tapi, adakah kita mengetahui setiap insan itu hala tujunya berbeda? Yakni, insan A perjalanannya mungkin mudah kerana segala keperluan dan kelengkapannya cukup beserta dengan nikmat bakat yang Allah kurniakan kepadanya, membuat perjalanan hidupnya tampak mudah. Tapi ada juga insan B, yang tidak bernasib baik seperti insan A, keperluan tidak cukup, bakatnya tidak menyerlah berbanding insan A, hidupnya kelihatan sukar sekali tanpa ada garis penghujung yang tetap untuk insan B tidak seperti insan A.

Namun, apakah kita sedar, bahawasanya, setiap insan itu, Allah S.W.T telah tetapkan tahap dugaan mereka. Tahap keupayaan mereka melalui sesuatu cubaan dariNYA. Sesungguhnya, Allah S.W.T itu, tidak akan memberi cubaan yang melampaui tahap kemampuan seseorang itu. Tidak, Dia tidak akan membuat sebegitu pada hambaNYA. Allah Maha Pemurah lagi Maha Penyayang serta Maha Pengasih. Dan ingatlah juga, Allah S.W.T tidak suka pada insan yang mudah berputus asa. Tanpa sebarang usaha, dia secara tiba-tiba menyerah kalah tanpa memikirkan jalan penyelesainnya terlebih dahulu.

Ingatlah, dunia ini adalah tumpangan sementara sahaja. Hari Akhirat adalah sebenar-benar tempat untuk sekalian makhluk. Setiap kaum muslimin sentiasa diingati akan perihal hal ini setiap solat Jumaat, samada kita tahu atau tidak, samada kita sedar ataupun tidak. Aku, yang senantiasa mendengar seminggu sekali ini, segala isi badan, seakan menggigil dan takut akan azab yang bakal menimpa diriku ini.

Memang benar, ku mengakui, diriku ini, bukanlah seorang yang baik, mulia, dipandang tinggi akan hal keagamaannya tapi aku cuba sedaya upaya apa yang termampu oleh diri ini, untuk mempertahan akidah dan iman dalam diri ini. Segala dosaku, kecil atau besar, sentiasa dipohon pada Allah S.W.T untuk mengampunkan segala dosaku dimuka Bumi Allah ini.

Tempoh tumbesaran.
Semasa aku kecil, berusia 3 hingga 6 tahun, akal ini pernah terdetik, bilakah aku akan membesar seperti orang lain, yakni orang dewasa lain. Masuk melangkah usiaku 7 tahun, terdetik lagi dihati, bilakah akan habis pembelajaran ini? Melangkah kealam menengah rendah, soalan ini berada didalam benakku, bilakah aku akan melangkah ke alam universiti pula? Alam menengah tinggi, ku pelajari sesuatu, persahabatan yang tidak boleh dijual beli, tidak boleh ditukar ganti. Alam pra-universiti ini, mengajar aku pelbagai macam perkara, dari segi lahiriah, batin, dan spritualnya, segalanya teruji disini bagi aku bersedia di alam universiti nanti.

Melangkah ke alam universiti, ku sedar, dan terus tersedar saat pertama kali kujejak kaki ku sebagai seorang pelajar universiti, baru ku sedar, aku bersendirian dimuka Bumi Allah ini. Hanya aku dan Allah S.W.T sahaja sebagai teman mengadu. Saat itu, ku telah berjanji akan berusaha sedaya upaya, untuk berjaya. 
Jikalau tidak, akanku semat didalam hati, "Kegagalan itu merupakan guru terbaik".
"Dare to fail", berani untuk gagal, adalah suatu slogan yang ku pegang sejak dari sekolah menengah lagi. Tanpa kegagalan, tiadanya kita pada hari ini di Bumi Malaysia, kegagalan untuk membangunkan bangsa kita selari dengan bangsa lain suatu ketika dahulu, akhirnya memakan diri namun kita belajar sesuatu yang penting iaitu tanpa kegagalan itu kita tidak dapat memperbaiki diri ini menjadi insan yang lebih baik. Namun, ini semua berbalik semula kepada arah tuju hidup kita dimuka Bumi Allah S.W.T ini. Tanpa arah tuju, kita tidak akan mengetahui akan sebab, tujuan kita berada disini.

INGATLAH! JANGAN BIARKAN DIRI INI HIDUP TANPA ADA ARAH TUJUAN!~

Rasa Rendah Diri

Assalammualaikum and hai,

7 Ramadhan. Ya, kali ini, entri dalam bahasa ibundaku, bahasa kebangsaan Malaysia, Bahasa Melayu.

Ramai yang akan tertanya-tanya, apa kehal nye entri pasal rendah diri pulak ni? Apa dh jadi? apa yg berlaku? Sebenarnya, inilah rasa diri ini selama ini. Rasa rendah diri yang amat amat dan teramatlah tinggi dalam diri ini.

Kenapa ia berlaku?
               Kalaulah dapat juga tahu kenapa ia terjadi. Tapi hasil analisis dibuat semasa di tingkatan menengah rendah (form 2-3), dapat dilihat akan kekerdilan diri ku ini berbanding teman-teman. Dari segi pelajaran terutamanya, kerana diri ini dibayangi oleh insan-insan hebat disekeliling. Ini membuatkan diriku rasa tidak berkemampuan mengatasi mereka semua walhal, setiap insan itu dicipta oleh Yang Esa adalah sama. Hanya yang membedakan ialah hasil usaha dan tahap konsistensi diri. Aku mengakui, aku bukanlah orang yang maha rajin, aku mengakui diriku bukanlah sehebat dan sepandai insan lain tapi ku punya hati, perasaan, harga diri, rasa malu, rasa rendah diri yang teramat tinggi. Kesemua ini mungkin terjadi kat kita semua. Ini adalah lumrah dalam kehidupan, perasaan inferiority complex ini sering hadir dalam diri manusia, cuma cara dan bagaimana seseorang itu mengatasinya yang membezakan segalanya.

Mengapa masih berlaku?
               Aku mengakui, aku masih ada perasaan sebegini. Ianya mungkin hasil dari tahap kematangan diri yang memberitahu, tidak mengapa, ini semua ketentuan dariNYA. Walhal, sebenarnya TIDAK!. Diriku yang ingin aku berkata demikian, aku masih boleh, masih mampu mengubahnya walau bagaimana perit pun pengorbanan yang perlu aku lakukan.

Tak malukah mendedahkan hal ni?
               Soalan aku kepada diriku dan mungkin orang lain jua, apakah kita masih punya kesempatan utk bermalu-malu sedangkan masa tetap tidak akan menunggu kita. Bila lagi? Apa yang ku rasa ini cukup-cukup mendalam didalam diri. Mungkin ada yang akan berkata-kata, ada juga mengata tapi biarlah, mulut tempayan boleh ku tutup dgn kemas tapi mulut manusia, ku tak mampu nak tutup. Hanya yang aku mampu ucapkan dalam hati, La Tahzan, Allah sentisa bersamaku.

Kenapa baru sekarang?
               Mungkin selama ini aku tiada keyakinan diri. Tiada rasa kesedaran yang tinggi. Cuma yang ada kini, rasa ingin berjaya seperti insan lain yang agak tinggi ketika ini. Tiada rasa yang lebih baik untuk dibawa ke semester baharu ini. Perjuangan aku masih belum selesai...

Apa tindakan selanjutnya?
               Berubah menjadi insan yang lebih baik. Lebih bijak menangani masalah melanda. Jangan anggap hal ini sebagai penghalang kepada kejayaanku dan aku sudah berjaya membuktikan yang aku boleh dengan kejayaan aku melangkah ke Universiti. Meski tidak sehebat, tidak segah insan lain tapi ku tetap berdiri teguh. Dengan prinsip diri utk menjadi insan yg lebih baik, yakni "hari ini akan lebih baik dari semalam dan hari esok akan lebih gemilang buatku" akan ku pegang hingga ke akhir hayat.....

Ingatlah Hati, La Tahzan, Allah sentiasa bersamamu.